Found out last night that my boyfriend’s step-mother’s parent died and the wake is tonight. (I can’t even tell you if it’s her mother or father). 

We never see the Dad/Step-mother ever. 

I barely know Dad’s side of the family and none of Step-Mom’s. 

The boyfriend couldn’t even tell me what the deceased’s name is. 

How do I offer my condolences this evening for a person I don’t even know, never met, and don’t know their name? 

Boyfriend’s cluelessness and lack of attention to the matter aside, what’s the protocol here? 

How do I show up to this place as a vertiable stranger when I shouldn’t be? 

How do I not put my fucking foot in my mouth or hurt someone’s feelings? 

Any ideas?

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Is that enough? As long as I don’t follow it up with, 

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet him/her/your parent”. 

Or how about, “I’m sorry my boyfriend can’t call his father or return his calls ever and that I really don’t know you at all even though I’ve been with your step son for the last 7 years. Also I’m sorry that you lost a parent and I’m sorry I don’t know what his or her name is.”